The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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