Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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