I hate all girls vehemently.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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