Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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