Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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