I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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