Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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