I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
there is glitter all over my balls
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