We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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