youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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