Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
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I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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