And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize