know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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