My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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