mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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