Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
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you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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