I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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