You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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