There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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