he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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