all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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