piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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