get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize