he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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