she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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