I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize