i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize