I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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