Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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