WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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