it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize