Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize