So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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