Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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