the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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