So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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