The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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