im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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