I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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