Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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