I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize