he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
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Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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