we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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