4 words: hood of his car
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize