Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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