Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize