just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize