apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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