please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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