using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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