I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize